A few months ago, this blog got a new lease on life as I began consistently posting. Before it fell silent once more.
However, while in the past my blogging just kinda petered out for any number of lame excuses, this time it was an intentional stop.
I love sharing my heart on this blog. The fact that I can have a platform to share my thoughts, feelings, and what I’m learning with lots of people is incredible.
But I also have a desire to connect with people face-to-face. To live life with the friends around me. To watch a movie or make dinner or go to the park or play games. To listen to what’s going on in someone else’s world. To share my heart and thoughts with them. To know and be known.
And the desire to write and the desire to “live” are at war with each other.
Writing takes time. Living life with people takes time.
And there’s only so many hours in the day.
So for the past few months, I’ve tried to be more intentional about relationships with close friends. I’ve had lots of coffee and ice cream and dinner. I’ve started going to lunch with my group at church instead of always rushing off after service to “get things done at home.”
I took a trip to California to visit my family and four friends came with me. I’m planning a few outings with friends from church. I’m looking forward to squeezing in as many summer adventures as I can before it’s time for fall adventures.
It’s been incredible. I’ve learned a ton. I’ve grown even more. I’ve discovered things about myself and what I want my life to look like (and it’s different than I thought).
But along the way, I remembered why I started writing and blogging in the first place. I want to put all the amazing things I’ve learned into writing and share with those who will listen.
All my experiences and lessons and discoveries have been bubbling up inside of me. And if I don’t start sharing, I’m going to explode. The lengths of texts to close friends have already been steadily increasing (and I’m a long-winded texter even when I have my blogging outlet).
Lessons like how I realized I had some misconceptions about marriage. How for the first time in my life, I feel like a “whole person.” How I’m learning to accept God’s love for me. How I’m dealing with the legalism I’ve allowed to creep into my life. How I’m finally comfortable in my own skin and who God wired me to be. How I discovered how many things I have been taking for granted. How I’m learning to say “no” to the good so I can say “yes” to the great. How there are a lot of unknowns in my life, but I’m not freaking out and trusting God has it all under control. How I’m utterly content with my life. How the “caged bird” feelings I’ve had for years have ended because I realized it wasn’t a cage holding me in, but the simple fact that I was not yet ready to fly. (I warned you they’re all about to burst out.)
So I’m coming back to writing. I’m going to try to be consistent, but we’ll see. If I plan to write on Saturday morning and I get an impromptu brunch or beach invitation, hanging out with friends is going to win.
But blogging is moving up on the priority list. Because I’m on this crazy adventure called life. And I want to write and share about it.
And encourage you to live your own wild and crazy awesome adventure.
Whatever that looks like for YOU.